sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving Report and Sermonette

Happy Thanksgiving 

Go ahead and spend the morning at the beach and work up an appetite.

I'm grateful for many things, not the least of which are the friendships that I've made over the years. Those friendships extend to many of you who read this blog, some of whom I know personally and others, simply from the force of personality that you project onto this strange medium where we meet to vent and discuss things that are important to us.

It's a beautiful day in Southern California with highs in the mid-80's at the beaches as they have been and will be through the long, chilled, winter months. While the East Coast is buried under an arctic blizzard, we will muddle along as best we can in the 'endless summer'.

Which is to say, we won't be traveling "over the river and through the woods to grandma's house on a sleigh". We drive over freeways in the concrete jungle, stacked up in traffic and wear short sleeved Hawaiian shirts and shorts with sandals on, while drinking a monster iced beverage with a healthy wedge of lemon. Thus, the Thanksgiving celebration falls short of the emotional and traditional ideal.

I don't think that I've ever done a Thursday Sermonette before - - feels weird. This blog is getting just a bit too holy for even me, but I'm going to forge ahead with a message for you, your families and your neighbors. Ok, here goes:

Varied and diverse people will be coming to the manse today to eat a semi-traditional dinner. Along with the stuffed chicken, stuffed turkey and Honey Baked Ham, there will be green beans cooked with bacon. There will also be bacon in the stuffing and bacon bits on the salad. This will serve as fair notice to Muslims living near me that every scrap of food that I am serving for Thanksgiving is haram.  Rooting around in my trash and dumpster diving will only lead them to grief when they find out that:

I know you're asking for the hidden spiritual message in this, because that's the essence of a sermonette. If you can't figure it out, just eat your turkey and stuffing without adding bacon with it's distinctive, delicious, smoky flavor...

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Get-Away Wednesday


You that read wrong

You read that wrong too

And you read that last sentence twice
to make sure that you didn't do it again.

The workweek has ended for most of us. It's time to fight traffic home so that we can fight traffic to the place where we will have three helpings of turkey and fixins. It will make us want to sleep until we can get back to work again and start the cycle over again.

For those of you who will be with kids or grandkids, I offer this message.

Why things don't work in Fergusson

Brown axed day mamma fo zum money ta go to de sto. Muthafukka keeped da benjamin and lifted da Swishers. Den da copz kilt da mothafukka.

h/t Daily Timewaster

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Less is More

President Obama doesn't refer to himself as a socialist, but his policies and those of his party may be said to pivot on the notion that taking money from one group of people and using that money to buy votes from another group of people as a recipe for political success.

You may have heard some Democrats bemoaning income inequality. The idea that the rich get richer while everyone else doesn't, gets pretty wide agreement in the polls. So does the Democrats' favorite redistributionist policy — raising the minimum wage. It is only slightly hyperbolic to say that an increased minimum wage is a transfer of income from fast-food customers to fast-food workers, minus those who are replaced by kiosks. That's not a very effective way to sock it to the top 1%.

The less the federal government is involved in tinkering with things like the green energy fiasco (even Google has said that it's not economically feasible at present), the minimum wage and most domestic issues, the better things work. Allowing the various states to make decisions impacting people locally is always the best way to approach a problem. But you don't get to be emperor by doing that, do you?

Truth in Norwegian Advertising?

Norway is a very interesting place... at many levels.

The stores are almost all closed on Sunday as a matter of law, the place is "close to nature" even in the largest cities, and while I'm not a fan of lutefisk, the fish are excellent and fresh. The women are generally attractive.

I spent time there this summer and will be returning when the sun returns to Norway in the Springtime.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Berserker in the Underbrush

This is the deal. Pretty Jenny (fellow blogger) doled out some "Berserkers in the Underbrush" mugs, with the hedgehog berserker logo on them.  Because there's nothing quite so fierce as a hedgehog viking that is about to go berserk.

Jenny herself is protected in her home by a killer hawg (hedgehog), deceptively named "Begonia". Everyone knows that hedgehogs are tiny aliens, remorselessly plotting the overthrow of the world for their own gain.

The catch to getting a mug was that I was expected to pose for a Berserker selfie. I don't do selfies usually, I'm not that easy -- but a free mug -- well, I am cheap.

Snarl on my lips, showing fangs, camera trigger in the hidden hand, wearing a camo sniper's smock and a Russian Naval Infantry t-shirt. It's about as sinister as I could get, holding a killer hedgehog mug aloft while displaying a meaty fist with old, scarred knuckles.

Stones and bones...

The Old Taxi Scenario

The last time that I met Hillary Clinton she had breath that smelled like an old tent, masked with too much floral perfume. Not unlike the sort of scent that an undertaker uses on a corpse at a viewing.  So when I read this Obama quote in Fox News (below) it really hit home.

Barack Hussein says that the next president needs to bring a 'new car smell' to the White House. If that's true, Hillary Clinton is an old, well worn taxi, with the smell to match. Have any of you ridden in an old taxi? You can't mask the smell of tobacco, sour age, the cloying barf that didn't get completely clean, blended with the sweat of curry that is dripping off the driver. There's always the smell of ass and mildew in an old taxi that you can't eradicate. When you're in a taxi like that, you'll roll down the windows whether there's a blizzard outside or if it's blistering hot. It's the smell! That old taxi smell!!

And it's difficult to imagine that Elizabeth (fake Indian) Warren, also a Democratic Party luminary, smells much better. 

The Hillary Clinton of Automobiles
Hard ridden, well used & unreliable.
(Fox News) HENDERSON, Nev. – President Barack Obama says voters want a "new car smell" in the 2016 White House race and that Hillary Rodham Clinton would be "a great president."
In a nationally televised interview broadcast Sunday, Obama seemed to suggest that any Democrat other than him would provide the turn of the page that he says voters are interested in. He acknowledged the "dings" to his own political standing during nearly six years of sometimes bruising battles with Congress and said Americans will want something new 
"They want to drive something off the lot that doesn't have as much mileage as me," Obama said in the interview with ABC's "This Week," which was taped Friday in Las Vegas following a public appearance there by the president. 
He said a number of possible Democratic candidates would make "terrific presidents," but Hillary Clinton is the only one he mentioned by name. He said she would be a "formidable candidate" and make "a great president" if she decides to run a second time.

Ok, let me count the ways. This is what Saturday Night Live said: