H/T to COFFEEPOT
BECAUSE I AM A MAN - When I catch a cold, I need somebody to bring me soup and take care of me while I moan and whine. You are a woman. You never get as sick as I do.
BECAUSE I AM A MAN - I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store like beer, bread or milk. I can not be expected to find exotic items like thyme or tofu. For all I know, they're the same thing.
BECAUSE I AM A MAN - There is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, motorcycles, kinky sex, cars, guns, rough sex, boats, SCUBA or sex. I have to make something up when you ask, so don't bother asking.
BECAUSE I AM A MAN - You don't need to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you cried at the end of it, I didn't; and if you're feeling amorous afterwards...then I'll remember the name so I can recommend it to other guys.
BECAUSE I AM A MAN - I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, it's all fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?