sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Secret Lair (Rule 5)

Potential lair site - accessible by submarine into
secret grotto.
It would be nice to have a secret lair, though my definition would fit Naval Support Facility Thurmont, also known as 'Camp David' (Catoctin Mountain Park near Thurmont, Maryland) more than the Dr. No style laboratory sited in an extinct volcano. Extinct volcanos have an uncomfortable tendency of becoming partially active and then all that work is for nought. The Camp David model never shuts down even if the government does and the American public pays all of the bills associated with keeping the lair running. 

Both Camp David and the Dr. No secret lairs don't appear on maps.

Mobile lair (self propelled). Only works in very
high and low latitudes. If I loitered off the Hawaiian
Islands, it would be noticed.
However, since I won't be elected US President anytime soon, I will have to seek the ultimate bat cave on my own. I have rejected the Dr. No solution as set forth above in paragraph one.

The concept of an island (fixed lair) or a simulated iceberg (mobile lair) have their own appeal, each for a different reason. 

The Swedish Navy has a lair for their ships and I'd be willing to assume control of it if the Swedes would let it go. (unlikely) I like Swedish women and there is an inexhaustible supply in Sweden - having a maul is essential to having a lair. After all, what use is the lair without a beautiful 'assistant'?

Swedish Navy's lair - complete with beautiful companions

Now that I've defined the parameters for the physical lair and the staffing, I need to move on with the activities that will go on at the lair, but that's none of your business.


11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Being a 'merchant of death' is hard work and requires available recreation.

      Delete
  2. Staffing? Wait. I was told "never show thy rod to thy staff".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evil lairs have different rules. Have you ever seen an evil lair that is not properly staffed?

      Delete
  3. "After all, what use is the lair without a beautiful 'assistant'?"

    None at all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sweden.
    North Alabama.
    Sweden.
    North Alabama.

    Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course its none of our business.... what good is a secret lair if there aren't secrets? I have faith that you'll work tirelessly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tireless effort is required at every secret lair.

      Delete

It's virtual - it's a mirage - it's life