sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

For What it's Worth

The lady in the swimsuit photo doesn't go with this blog post.
I slapped it up here for Woodsterman.

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.




16 comments:

  1. Those are good ones and I might use them on my Facebook page. But the picture... I thought she was the next Mrs LL. I was proud of you.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure that she makes some lucky guy a fine mistress.

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  2. Sorry, LL. The swimsuit model's boobs are way too small, Odie will likely reprimand you for this misstep.

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  3. Whatever she's selling, I can't afford.

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  4. Thank you kind Sir for the babe. I saw her and I new, then and there, I had to work on my foreploy.

    Fredd, not at all ... I love all boobs.

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    Replies
    1. Odie, I know that you wouldn't kick her out of the rack for eating crackers in bed.

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    2. An equal opportunity boob guy, eh?

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  5. That is too funny!

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    Replies
    1. I know who you are, Anonymous. It was fun to chat on the phone yesterday. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

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  6. So Michelle and Barack would be flabbergasted willy-nilly. Interesting.

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    Replies
    1. --who can keep their pokemon if they like their pokemon. Assuming flatulence doesn't get them first. (we should be so lucky)

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    2. At least I don't have a balderdash.

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  7. Replies
    1. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

      Delete

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