sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Friday, May 29, 2015

The Illusive Jackalope

An endangered Jackalope family
Jackalopes, once abundant in the American West, are being hunted to extinction. Who among you will donate to stop this senseless slaughter? Send your donations to Save the Jackalope Fund: Pay Pal - larry.lambert@mac.com. The money will be put to good use.

I've been told that every environmentalist needs to have a cause and I have chosen this one. Habitat preservation is a key element of the Save the Jackalope Fund. I hope to buy land and set it apart as a Jackalope refuge area. In order to better serve the Jackalopes, I need to construct a cabin on the land, drill a well, and build a shed to store my Jackalope research vehicles.

Pronghorn Jackalope
Hunters in the Rocky Mountain West prize Jackalopes for their fine racks and for their lush pelts (right). There are different varieties of Jackalope. Not all of you may be aware of those subsets of the genus - Jackalopicus Hornicus. Some are more endangered than others and what has the Federal Government done about it? In a word, nothing. I'm trying to pick up the slack and with your help, it can happen.

Once the refuge is in place (if you build it, they will come), I will  provide safe haven for all of these critically endangered members of God's Kingdom.

If you are traveling through Dubois, Wyoming and stop at the Exxon County Store, you can sit astride a genuine, stuffed prehistoric, giant, cave Jackalope, ancestor of the modern Jackalope.

In ancient times, they flourished as far south as Texas, but the Comanche hunted them relentlessly because of their prized racks and pelts. Can you drink the milk of a Jackalope? Rumor has it that the Comanche did and that alone led to their fierce warrior culture.


The Jackalope Ranch Restaurant, Indio, CA - serving farm raised (sustainable) Jackalope

40 comments:

  1. They're so cute, but I imagine tasty too. Why aren't the FEDS stopping this atrocious Lepuscide????

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    1. Where is Hillary? I'm hoping that the Clinton Foundation will fund my needs, which include a lot of off-road vehicles and a helicopter to monitor the dwindling herds.

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    2. I volunteer to handle all your communications needs for a small fee.

      $100k/year shiould be nough, room and board included.

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    3. The Clintons certainly have the money to pay you a princely wage...and a deserved one at that. Decent of you not to have pushed for a 401K.

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  2. Your caring and genuine concern for these creatures of God has brought a tear to my eye. Awareness of this noble cause should be trumpeted from the mountaintops. I hear your call, and shall step up to aid in your noble endeavors, LL.

    Since you say the vast, huge gobs of money I send you will be put to good use, I am assuming that you are of course referring to the maintenance of the current but dwindling Jackelope herds and their habitat. Now, let me see where I put my pallets of gold ingots......you do accept gold ingots, right LL?

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    1. Of course, gold is accepted. I will even accept bitcoin. Anything to help our furry friends in their struggle to survive.

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    2. There is a need for volunteers to actually roll up their sleeves and pitch in. Once your check is cashed or bullion is deposited, we'd accept you into the fold and you could manage the Supermodel photo shoots there at the preserve, or perhaps organize snipe hunts in conjunction with the activity mentioned above.

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  3. I once had one of these noble creatures in my sights, but the look of forgiveness he gave me as I was about to pull the trigger changed my life. I stopped drinking after that.

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    1. The spiritual nature of the jackalope will do that. Some people even see Elvis. Such is the power that these simple hopping, horned, prairie roamers eminate.

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  4. Can you also raise funds to build more fences along highways to herd the Jackalopes to safer crossings? They are expensive to build and badly needed.
    https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1282&bih=901&q=wyoming+snow+fence&oq=wyoming+snow+fence&gs_l=img.3..0j0i30j0i24.4357.17912.0.23085.18.10.0.8.8.0.101.814.9j1.10.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..0.18.844.SZYgLxDvbgc#imgrc=NLHEcnmiFLqc2M%253A%3Bdh1ZXfiJlhFA2M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.flyingbeds.com%252FWyomingSnowFence%252FWyoming%252520Barndoor%252FElkMountainSnowFence_350w.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.flyingbeds.com%252FWyomingSnowFence%252Findex.htm%3B350%3B234

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    1. I'd be wiling to become the Federal Jackalope Czar and to oversee that so long as I have access to FEMA funds in the event of a Jackalope emergency. I need to pocket graft like every other Czar.

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  5. What an amazingly noble man you are to do this grueling, thankless service to your country and the Jackalopes. I will most certainly spread the word of your wonderful cause. (a direct link on the side panel would be helpful to those of us wishing to unburden ourselves of too much filthy lire.)

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    1. I'm willing to accept even insultingly small donations. Even the widow's mite helps with the preservation of these noble vermin.

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    2. I wonder if in addition to your efforts as a fundraising shill, if you'd also agree to be the manager (with salary) of the Jackalope petting zoo, there at the compound. We need an interpretive center to help explain nature to visitors who visit the rescue center...not unlike the rangers at national parks. I'm sure that we can also get a quarter horse for you to ride and a green uniform with a smokey-the-bear hat.

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    3. Count me in IF I can ride a qtr horse, wear wranglers, a buckaroo hat, chinks, and boots...
      No smokey outfits here, those people draw fire...

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    4. I was hoping that you'd volunteer to be a bullet sponge for the rest of us. If you refuse to wear the hat, perhaps you can carry a guidon with an Obama flag (hope and change flag) to draw fire.

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    5. Obviously loyalty to friends doesn't run real deep in some circles...

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    6. I had the same thought Brig-- the whole "bullet sponge" thing was a bit rough. I'm hereby embarking on a Preservation Park for Apparently Endangered Brighids. A cause even nobler than jackalopes!

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    7. What if I throw a pair of custom made ostrich and snake skin boots into the mix?

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  6. Replies
    1. I don't live in the Southern Lightning, Tornado and Flood Zone where the Federal Government is punishing you with bad weather for being climate deniers.

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  7. Finally, a Tree Hugging - Save The Something or Other person I can stand behind... about a thousand yards pointing and laughing. No, seriously, I support you... hee hee hee.

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    1. You can join the cause. As soon as I get the funds to buy the Jackalope preserve, you can come and help with barn raising, fly fishing (on the Jackalope watering pond) and so forth.

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  8. Count me in for some herd management, LL. Thanks.

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    1. I knew that Texas would join in. Y'all do that with noble causes. In fact, I don't think that there is a Jackalope Parson yet, ministering to the needs of the Jackalope Rescue people. Ask Bishop Iker if you can get time off to come west and survey land for possible Jackalope preserves. We could also make it a religious retreat center where the downtrodden in search of a compound can come, shoot (non-Jackalope critters) and fish.

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    2. Or, we can put the Jackalope rescue center in Texas. We can import what Jackalopes that are captured in the wild or are found injured to the compound.

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    3. Good plan. I'll text the Bishop. I think we need a new retreat center. And we're doing the environment a favor. Right on.

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    4. It has to be the "right sort" of retreat center. Since it's Texas, the retreat should offer things that Texans like to do when they're relaxing (hunting - except Jackalopes, fishing, horseback riding, river rafting, and drinking).

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    5. A perfect retreat center. I want one.

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    6. Tack on a challenging off-road driving park and a motorcycle racetrack. We need to appeal to wayward people who like those things.

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    7. Ahem. I STRONGLY question Blue Comanche's ability to *safeguard* these animals, Parson. If his track record with the neighbor's chickens is any indicator, I'm not sure I can condone your role in "herd management."

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    8. Blue protector is loyal to LSP. But he might be thinning the herd of jackalopes for "their own good".

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  9. its a great cause Larry.
    Glad you're going ahead with it.

    The problem with Assassins is that they're meant to die.
    sooner or later, something inside or outside is all it takes.

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    1. We are all meant to die. It's the time between the birthing and the dying that makes the difference.

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    2. Sometimes, in the middle of that time, we sway off and find ourselves swept in the shores of darkness.

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  10. They're good to eat too... Taste like chicken... :-)

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    1. I've heard that. Though I, myself have never eaten one since I'm in the business of rescuing them. And hopefully the Clinton Foundation pours money into this because it's a very worthy cause -- worthy of Bill & Hillary's best efforts.

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    2. I'm thinking they more likely would taste like Dik-Dik, only a little less gamey.

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  11. I will help manage the grasslands for the jackalope to graze for a mere $175,000 per year plus any kick backs

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    1. For $175K, Hillary would anticipate your vote.

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