sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Friday, June 5, 2015

Fishwrap Friday

All the news that's fit to print:

TSA

TSA is hugely expensive, creates long lines and the question that has lingered with me personally is whether its people do any good - other than giving the vague perception of security to the generally ignorant masses. The question was answered this week.

The Obama regime axed its acting Transportation Security Administration chief. His removal follows news that TSA checkpoint screeners failed to detect mock bombs and guns in 95% of tests carried out by so-called Red Team agents.

The outrageously high failure rate was discovered at dozens of the nation's busiest airports. Screeners failed a whopping 67 out of 70 tests, with agents repeatedly managing to sneak through potential weapons.

The "new normal"

I'm begging a few of you male readers of this blog who would be hideous looking women not to take the plunge...even if you do get to be lesbians, and part of a protected class...and get your picture on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Texas Law Enforcement Wisdom

Texas DPS/Highway Patrol officer pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into a ditch. The officer asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”

“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’”
The same officer pulled over a pickup on I-35 about an hour later. 

The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”

The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

The officer rolled into the station at the end of watch and was standing outside of the Captain's office door. The captain was working on the budget. He called his attractive secretary in and the officer overheard the conversation. The captain said, “Y’all graduated from Baylor and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” 

The secretary thought a moment and then replied, “Everthang but my earrings.”

23 comments:

  1. The TSA is big, stupid government at its worst. They hire the dumbest, ugliest and dullest slugs they can find, put a uniform on them and then conduct maybe half an hour of training. Then they put them in the public's way, with orders to hassle them to the point of a fist fight breaking out.

    These TSA people are government workers, and nothing more. Do you find this failure rate shocking? I don't. And we are still waiting for our trillion dollars spent on these dopes to catch a terrorist. Just one lousy terrorist, is that too much to ask? Apparently it is.

    And no more Baylor jokes, OK? Baylor's a good Christian school that would never produce a strumpet such as the police secretary above. That, and no attractive secretary that I know of has a degree at all, much less from Baylor. Ugly secretaries? Those are the ones with college degrees.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How can I but agree with everything you said.

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  2. Replies
    1. ...I think that the secretary started out interning for Bill Clinton.

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  3. Maybe the secretary graduated from Texas A&M? Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I threw Baylor in there just to get your goat...

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    2. On second thoughts, maybe she went to Oxford...

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  4. I not only would make an ugly woman, but I am evidently not attractive to men as a man either. I have yet to be felt up by a TSA agent when I fly. I am so alone!

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    Replies
    1. Even if you had a handgun in your pocket, they might not grope you...now that WOULD be humiliating.

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  5. The new normal reminds me of "Young Frankenstein" and Marty Feldman finding Mr. Abie Normal's brain.

    *sigh* Marty died way too young.

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  6. As you know, I have spent most of my life in the South - now North Alabama. Yes, we do talk that way.

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  7. Awe, all ya gotta do is be a sweet ol granny,
    they take one look at me
    and wave me through security,
    every time...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Granny wouldn't be going through the gate if she wasn't up to something.

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    2. Granny is always up to something!

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    3. WHICH is why to search Granny and take away her handguns, blackjacks, whips and cattle prods before you let her on the airplane.

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    4. I don't want to jinx my strategy but they never search me, what would that sweet granny be carrying...
      ( I must admit gett'n outta that damn burka thing in the jet bridge can be a bitch)

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  8. That TSA story shocked me. I couldn't believe they passed close to 5% of the time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Somebody is clearly being generous...

      And it's strange, isn't it? The Department of Homeland Security is known for hiring stellar people who do an extraordinary job.

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  9. Larry, I look at you, and then I look at me ... ain't no effing way it could happen. There ain't enough makeup in this world to make us pretty. That is, unless you, as do I, think we're just pretty enough without all the fuss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm clearly hot enough to be a super model and strut down the catwalk, just as you are. That we choose not to do it shouldn't be an indictment on our classic good looks - like a couple of bronze statues of classic warriors.

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