sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

News and Traditions

Harris is Gone -  Back to the US Senate

The donkeys she loves so dearly failed to give her lots of money and they failed to support her in the polls. That means that they threw the baby out with the dirty bathwater* (see below). She could be a contender for vice president depending on who the democrat nominee turns out to be.  And we know that Harris has skills (wink). But if Mayor Pete, the ButtGuy, is their anointed one, will those skills work any magic on him? I think that Spartacus would have a better shot for Pete's #2.

This frees up a slot for another white male billionaire, heterosexual, preferably a smug, disconnected octogenarian. Michael Epstein could have been a contender if he hadn't met a mysterious end. We know that Prince Andrew would have endorsed him.

Maybe Kamala can go have a drink with Swalwell? If she hung with Willie Brown, I'm sure that flatulence doesn't bother her.

One key thing to remember about Harris (unlike Tulsi Gabbard, who was polling ahead of Harris at the end of Kamala's run) is that she's notoriously lazy. I like lazy donkeys better than I like activist donkeys. In the curious case of Bernie Sanders he's a lazy activist who has managed to convince a lot of Bernie Bro's that he will give them free stuff, paid by millionaires other than himself, if they give him money. It's a sweet hustle. I'm not knocking it. But Kamala couldn't close the deal. Too lazy.

Trip Downtown

I was speaking to a friend in a parking lot in Phoenix and a couple of inner city people, obviously loaded, approached us. I pulled my mouth guard from my pocket and shoved it in my mouth. He said, "You keep a mouthguard in your pocket?" I said, "Yes and I have my own teeth. No dentures or implants." He stressed, "Why do you keep a mouthguard in your pocket?" I replied, "for fights like this one."

The two inner city people just stood there while we spoke. Me with my vampire teeth mouthguard in, mumbling and my friend.

They asked, "You have a mouthguard?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"You get in that many fights old man?"

"Not as many as I used to but I can whip your (deleted) asses."
~I had a bowie in my back, under my belt and a derringer concealed in my left hand.
They felt that I might be crazy, said so, and retreated.

I took the mouthguard out and put it back into my pocket.

Origins of Common Phrases

During the Middle Ages, urine was used to tan animal skins. Families used to urinate  in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery for a farthing. If you had to do this to survive you were "piss poor." Some people were poorer than that. They "didn't have a pot to piss in."

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June, but maybe not good enough. The bridal tradition of carrying a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor was born. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies.* By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it . . . hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high. The family animals were herded into a space below the floor (the undercroft). Once there they were less likely to be stolen or to freeze to death. There was nothing to stop things from falling from the thatching, down into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed, therefore, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

Some people weren't wealthy enough to afford a home with an undercroft. They lived in dwellings with dirt floors. They were "dirt poor". The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way, subsequently creating a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the great room with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while, and thus the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up, creating the custom of holding a wake. I always wanted to fake my own death and lay there in my open coffin while people stood around, lying about how much they liked me, then I'd jump out of the coffin, woke as a progressive.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive, so they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.