sunset from behind the wire

sunset from behind the wire

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Laura and Me

I dress down in the hope that it
will discourage them but it
seldom works.
As I read the story on American Perspective (linked below), my eyes began to tear because I've had the same problem in my life. 
(LINK to American Perspective"33-year-old Laura Fernee blames her good looks for a host of problems in her life, including her unemployment. Fernee says she was forced to quit her job after being constantly harassed by male co-workers and dealing with female co-workers who were jealous of her beauty. Now, Fernee lives in an apartment paid for by her parents and hasn’t held a job in two years. But she is also claiming it’s simply not her fault."
I understand what she's going through. Women tend to objectify me too, and it's always clear that they only want one thing from me. Sure, the flowers and the invitations to lunch from female co-workers are flattering -- at first.  Then as they come to know me better there are:

  • The invitations to ice hockey games, and who can resist box seats at mid-ice? But it doesn't stop there. She buys you shots of tequila and then offers to drive you home...
  • Scuba diving vacations at Grand Caymen. Sure, she suggests at first that there will be two rooms but when you show up there with her, you find that only one was booked and there's not even a fold-out bed.
  • I like a good char-broiled steak as much as any guy and and when the invitation comes for surf and turf it sounds like everybody has been invited. Whey you arrive, there's plenty of parking in front of her bay-side home and the steak is being cooked on her yacht during an evening cruise. It's obvious that she doesn't only have cruising on her mind.
  • Presents usually include speedos or Euro-style swim suits. (always designed to maximize the view of the package)
  • You sit down at an office party and the women strike like peregrine falcons. "What's your sign, you stud?" "Have you ever tried to cut diamonds - for real?" "I don't think that I'd get any splinters from that piece of wood!"
Trust me, the next morning you feel vacant, used and diminished. 

Women talk. Have you guys ever noticed that? Except when you walk up to them. Watch how fast their code of silence is invoked and you're left with the sly glances and not so subtle snickers as they undress you with their eyes. There have been times when I even felt as though I was being traded between women at work as if I was a commodity (a piece of meat). But I'm a human being with human feelings. 

I feel better having discussed this problem that I have in a public forum around affirming and loving friends who can relate to my pain. It's humiliating for women to ask me if the flash light is on "high beam".